The computer

The first computer
http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/86/250pxeniacsp4.jpg

70 years ago, the first computer has been invited(ww.) by john and Clifford. The first computer could only calculate, and remember little pieces of information. The first computer was huge; it was in the same size of a very large room.
Also, it wasn't comfortable to use the computer, and it has no keyboard.
The first computer could decipher only 29 kinds of equations. Although it wasn't so useful and was too expensive, it was "a start of (a) new way".
As a new invitation(ww.) no one really know(gr.) what is it(phr.) and how to use it, no one can(gr.) afford a computer and the computer failed but then, after a lot of work and help of geniuses the computer became very known and useful.


The computer of(מיותר) today
http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/5459/250pxmacbookproax0.jpg

The new computer is much more better(gr.) then the first computer.
The computer of today has (a) keyboard and it is much more comfortable to use the computer of today. The computer of today also can do more then(sp.) the first computer, it can calculate a lot of things in math. It also can have some games so it can be useful to all ages. Little kids can play and learn from the new computer a lot of things, the new computer usually have(gr.) very helpful games that helps(gr.) little kids to learn math, English and some more information. The computer of today is also very small and a lot of people can afford a computer and we can see it very clearly when we ask people. Today, there are 5 computers per(for evrey) 6 kids, that means that every 6 kids have 5 computers and this(these) statistics can show us how useful is the computer of today(phr).

I took the information from this website http://he.wikipedia.org/wiki/.

Mor, your work is not bad, but there are a few problems. First of all, your topic isn't related to "Time", as I asked to do. You're showing the development of the computer in time, but that's not what I meant. If you want to write about an invention or a technological device, it has to be connected in itself to time, and not show how it changer through time. I hope you understand the difference.
Secondly, I understand that the links above each text are supposed to be the pictures, but there is no possibility to get into these links. I intended for the pictures to be shown, not as links, but clearly above the text.
Finally, you texts aren't divided into paragraphs.

Please correct your work.
Daphna

The Princess Hotel

4 years ago, I went with my family to a very beautiful hotel in Ilat(Eilat). Ilat is not a big city but it has a lot of hotels in there. The hotel was very big and beautiful, it really made an impression on me and and until now, i was talking(phr. and gr.) about the hotel from (the) outside. The hotel is huge and amazing from (the) inside, (too).

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When we arrived at the hotel I couldn't believe that something like hotel(a hotel) could be such a beautiful place. My father asked me to look for cool things inside the hotel, look for the pool, and for more beautiful things or things to do. So I walked for an hour inside the hotel, it was very impressing(impressive) and I really enjoyed it. I saw very beautiful flowers, and trees. The pool was very big. And there were a lot of women and men in the bar, laughing and talking. After a while we entered the room and the room was very big, it had 4 beds and bathroom, a veranda' a table to eat on .and the room really impressed us.

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The hotel is really cool, I really recommend to visit this hotel, this is the best place I ever saw(have ever seen) and (it's)worth the time, money and fuel that you spend until you get there. Also, the entertainment team is very funny and I really recommend to watch them every evening; they give prizes and a lot of cool stuff. So as I said, go there and enjoy as I enjoyed, you won't regret it.

Mor, this is better. I can see that corrected some of your mistakes, but you have left quite a few mistakes uncorrected. Please correct the sentences and words I have marked.

Daphna.