Peer pressure happens when you don't really know what to do. Your brain tells you to do the right thing but your friends tell you to do the wrong thing. Sometimes, the student doesn't know what to do and listens to his friends (and) so(he) lies to other people, and steals money from his parents. Peer pressure is a big step towards the wrong way.
On the one hand, people tend to listen to their friends because they want to fit in or worry about other kids that may make fun of them. so, they surrender to peer pressure. But some of the time, people really become liked in the community. Sometimes this peer pressure helps you fit in.
On the other hand, people act as other people tell them to act and they get into very terrible places as jail or they get into embarrassing situations when they get into craim(ww.) situations as a result of peer Pressure.
To sum up, peer pressure can be ignored by kids only if they think about their future and think before doing terrible things or you can listen to your friends and try to fit in but don't surrender to peer pressure, because it is not a good thing and can only bring troubles.- This is a great conclusion, but you have to divide this very long sentence into, at least, two shorter ones.
Very good work! I'm proud of you.
(95)
Daphna.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Space Exploration expensive
The thrill of discovery interest(gr. ) a lot of people and this is the main reason of (ww. - for) exploring the space and other planets. However, this is not the only reason to explore the space. There are a lot of problems on Earth that force people to explore other planets. However, People think that space exploring(ww. - exploration) has some risks and (is) too expensive.
On the one hand, the discovery of other planets is very important in order to live on them when the eath(sp.) will be gone. There is also the ambition of finding other living forms in space that might help us in the problems on Earth or to learn about them. There are also(phr. - In addition there are) satellites that improve the life on Earth while they transmission(ww. - transmit) programs on T.V and the radio.
On the other hand, space exploration has a lot of risks to other people that want to be launched to the space(you have to explain what you mean what kind of risks and why you mention: "to other people"? who are these "other people"?). (Moreover,)The launch to space costs a lot of money, building the spaceship, the planning of the flying in the space etc. Once in a while when a satellite is launched to the(מיותר) space, it might hit other things in space like stones in space(ww. - debris or meteors) or other satellites and create a massive mess in space that can hurt us or other things(This is too general, what "things" are you talking about?).
To sum up, both of the ways (which "ways" are you talking about?) injure(ww. - hurt) us , the(מיותר) space exploration has a lot of risks and spends a lot of money but help(gr.) us discover things that might help us in the future. My personal opinion is that we should continue space exploration in order to find helpful things for humanity.
On the one hand, the discovery of other planets is very important in order to live on them when the eath(sp.) will be gone. There is also the ambition of finding other living forms in space that might help us in the problems on Earth or to learn about them. There are also(phr. - In addition there are) satellites that improve the life on Earth while they transmission(ww. - transmit) programs on T.V and the radio.
On the other hand, space exploration has a lot of risks to other people that want to be launched to the space(you have to explain what you mean what kind of risks and why you mention: "to other people"? who are these "other people"?). (Moreover,)The launch to space costs a lot of money, building the spaceship, the planning of the flying in the space etc. Once in a while when a satellite is launched to the(מיותר) space, it might hit other things in space like stones in space(ww. - debris or meteors) or other satellites and create a massive mess in space that can hurt us or other things(This is too general, what "things" are you talking about?).
To sum up, both of the ways (which "ways" are you talking about?) injure(ww. - hurt) us , the(מיותר) space exploration has a lot of risks and spends a lot of money but help(gr.) us discover things that might help us in the future. My personal opinion is that we should continue space exploration in order to find helpful things for humanity.
It's better, but you still have quite a few mistakes to correct and sentences to rephrase and explain better. (75)
Daphna.
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