Computers Are Our Today's Teachers

Today, our technology is much more advanced than before. Today, for example, we have improved cameras, improved computers and even internet, which grant us the ability to communicate with people all over the world.

Using the advanced technology properly will guaranty a very useful combination, such as private teachers on the internet. Today, private teachers on the internet are the best combination of computers and teachers. But computers can replace the teachers. A good example for this case is when a teacher gets angry and requires from the students to learn something alone. Most of the time, the students don't really get scared, they just go home, search the internet and find the material that the teacher didn't teach, appears in front of the student.

Moreover, there are many examples of computers replacing the teachers. For example, my friend never went to school, but he knows English much better than an average student his age. The interesting part of this story is that his parents don't know English, he learned his English from computer games only. Another example is a recorded voice of a teacher that teaches a specific material, all you have to do is to pay once and you get the recording. Then, you can play it over and over again until you understand it properly.

To sum up, combining technology with human resource help the human kind to achieve a lot of goals.Doing so allow people to learn material from the computer, and not from a teacher.

Recently, the most discussed issue is the problem of drivers on the roads. As we all know, the rate of driving accidents in the last years is always rising. Some of the people say that the reason of the raise in rate of driving accidents is the existing of a law which enable young and immature people to drive the roads. Those kind of people help to raise the rate of road accidents and there is no way to stop them yet.

One of the ideas to decrease the rate of road accident is raising the age for a driver's license. The people who offered this law thought that this law might be the solution to the problem of the increase in driving accidents. The idea behind this law is to allow the young people to become much more mature and responsible. This might be the solution to the major problem of the irresponsibility of young people on the roads. As we all know, when people get older, they become more mature. People who are wise and smart are better drivers because of many reasons, unlike young drivers who are not such good drivers., such as racing on the street with another car, driving slowly in order to let other cars to be in front of you(phr.), drive slowly and safe(how is this related to the other examples?). Those are the main reasons for car accidents on the road. Mature people are not likely do those things, but mature people, would not even think about driving fast in order to be "cool", the safety is much more important to them. I don't think that this is a good idea, because if a young driver would seek(ww.+gr.) for action on the road now, nothing can stop him and he will always seek for action on the road.

I think that the best way to decrease the rate of road accident is giving much more reports to young drivers. The reports must include a very high fine to pay. If the fine was high, then the younger people will think twice about what they should do instead of speeding up. High fines were proven to be very effective while use in order to change the behavior of the people. With good policemen, who won't give up to the young people(phr.), and high fine, the young drivers would do everything according to the rules on the roads. High taxes can intimidate people and make them change their behavior and their way of driving.

To sum up, raising the age for a driver's license is not a good idea because people usually don't change their behavior when they get older. I think that the best idea is raising the taxes of the reports(phr.) on the road. Raising the fines would be the best way of change their driving way(phr.) and stop the mess on the road.

The internet today is the most useful and important invention. The internet is a net that allows the user, who can be every single man, to surf the web and find useful things, such as games, information, business, chat rooms and a lot of other useful things.

The internet has disadvantages and advantages. The internet has a lot of advantages, such as email, business and spare time activites. The email is like a regular mail, but the difference is when you send an email, you don't need to wait, the moment you send it, the receiver of the email gets it. Moreover, the internet contains a huge amount of useful information that is suitable for students and everyone else. Further more, there are a lot of opportunities to do money on the internet and find deals there

But, although the internet has many advantages, it also has a lot of disadvantages. A lot of innocent people, such as children, are exposed to substance like pornography, and inappropriate talks in chat rooms. Moreover, the internet spend your time(gr.+phr. - the Internet can not "spend" you time, you spend time on the Internet) and makes you so lazy that you don't even get up from the computer to do some sports (and so...?).

To sum up, the internet has a lot of advantages, such as business opportunities, and gathering information easily. But there are also disadvantages, such as pornography, lack of activities and violence. My opinion is that the internet is good, but you should use it wisely and think about the consequences of your actions.

(83)

Daphna

community

Communities centers are very important to students. In these days, students think that communities(phr. - a community can't be "made") are things that were made for bored people who have no life. Because of this, the schools in these days have to teach and show to its students how communities can help to build relationships and teach things that you can't learn in school.

On the one hand, students today usually don't help the communites because(of) their lack of knowledge. I, for example, didn't know that joining the community(phr. - which community have you joined?) raises the chances of becoming a pilot in the airforce. After I heard this detail, the first thing in my mind was that I had to join the community. But this was the reason that I joined the community, because I always wanted to be a pilot. So the point is that I believe that lack in details of how many benefits you can have by joining the community is the main reason that people don't join the community.

On the other hand, people think that joining the community is a waste of time and a waste of money and that makes them feel abused by the community because they don't benefit from it. The schools represent us the community as a place for "fun(phr.)". The problem here is that they don't think about what we, the students think about that(phr.). By telling that to people, that community is a place to have fun makes the people that go there bored people(phr.) and we, as students don't want to seem like bored people. Moreover, statistics and research of how people can benefit from joining the community can help and make the numbers of the people who join the community go bigger and bigger(phr.).

To sum up, there are a lot of reasons now that make people become afraid of joining the community, there is a lot of lack of knowledge, a lot of rumors about abusing and some other things(phr.).. Schools today must teach and show people that joining the community can only do good for them. This is the only way to make students like the community and join it.

I don't know how to fix the phr mistakes, I need help with that..

(We need to talk.I think you are not explaining what you mean properly, and thus, not using the term community inn the right way.)

(60)
Daphna

sports

Some people prefer team sports and some people(ww. - others) prefer individual sports. Both have advantages and disadvantages. Team sports means doing sport with many friends, for example going to a gym together with your friends, jogging or doing aerobics together(No,team sports means, football, basketball and so on). By doing sport individualy, you can do the same things that you do in team sports but you do it alone.

On the one hand, team sports are preferable because of the fun you have every time you do activities by talking and joking with your friends from your sports team. This way, you keep away from your mind that you are exhausted and you keep doing the activity. Individual sports are for one man, the only advantage in these kinds of sports is that you don't have to wait for your team until all of them arrive, you just depend on yourself. This is too general and not clear enough, I am sure each type of sports has other, more important advantages. You should write about achievements in each kind of sports..

On the other hand, team sports have a lot of disadvantages. You always depend on other people. For example, you have to set a meeting with the people from the team and wait until all of them arrive. The sports in a team is not something up to you, for example, if you want to work on spesific muscles, and other wants to work on other muscles, it is a big problem for you and it might be very annoying sometimes(Again, you got the whole concept of team sports wrong, and that's why you haven't related to the right disadvantegs. Think about football or basketball players....). Individual sports are sometimes even worse than group sports, because when you do sports alone you get bored and you slowly lose the motivation to continue.

To sum up, both, individual sports and group sports have advantages and disadvantages. But in my opinion, individual sports are much better because even if you get bored, there are other things that can keep your mind busy instead of thinking about how tired you are, such as music and it can replace the joy you have while doing sports with friends.

It's better, but you missed the point. Go over this essay again according to my remarks.

(70)

Daphna

24 Bareket St.
Holon
24/4/2010

Harvard University
P.O BOX 18770
Philadelphia. PA
USA

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter because I would like to apply for admission to your university.I understand you have an excellent economics course. I also heard that Harvard University is the best university for education pertaining to economics and I think that I am suitable to join the course at Harvard university because of my excellent grades in all (the) subjects I have previously learned.

As I said, my grades are very good and I want to apply for admission to your university because I heard that Harvard University's students almost always pass the final test and after passing the final test they can get a job very easily and the salary is much better if you learned(ww.+gr.) in(ww. - at) Harvard University. Moreover, while I was in school, I had never caused any problems or anything of the sort nor had I ever acted against the rules of the school, (New sentence) therefore, I really want to learn, and I am not going to cause any trouble in the University.- too long.

The reason that I want to join the economics course is because when I was young I saw a lot of movies about successful people who manage to buy things and sell them for higher prices, or become a manager of successful people, for example actors or football players etc.. In addition, my father is a salesman and from a young age I have seen what he usually does and I really like it. Morover, I really like math, so numbers is(gr.) not a problem for me.

To sum up, I think that I am suitable to join the economics course at Harvard University because of my grades and my passion for success in my life as a salesman or actors' manager.

I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely yours,

Shubi Star.

(90)

Daphna

24 Bareket St.
Holon
24/4/2010



"See The World" Travel Agency
1764 West 125th Street
New York




Dear Sir / Madam,


My name is Shoval. I am writing this letter because I want to ask a few questions about the organized tour to the United States which I hope to take part in. I am 17 years old and the main reasons why I want to visit the United State are food and sightseeing. The problem is that my English is not very good and I expect to have a guide who knows both English and Hebrew because I don't have any experience traveling.


I heard about the tour from my friend. He told me that people in the tour are given time to rest in restaurants and places with captivating views of nature from a very high altitude, for example from the Empire State Building or Mount Rushmore and some other famous places. I would also like to ask what the policy is concerning non kosher food and visiting Chinese restaurants.




First of all, I would like to ask some questions. I would like to know how much an organized tour which includes all the states in the United States costs I would also like to know what meals will be served in the hotels we'll stay in Will we eat there or only sleep there? What about entertainment in the hotels? Furthermore, I would like to ask how many people will attend the tour and what will their average age.


To sum up, I can't wait to join the tour and I would like to hear from your company as soon as possible.


Sincerely yours,
Shoval Bar

Good work
(88)
Daphna

Holon
Bareket 10 (10 Bareket st.)
08/04/2010


Station manager
(Add the name of the station)
Holon
Bareket 45 (45 bareket st.
Holon)

Dear Sir/Madam.

I am writing this letter because I would like suggest an issue for the radio situation(ww.) to deal with. Moreover(מיותר), being a teenager, I know what would be interesting for other teens. I think that in order to get their attention the program should focus on problems connected to the IDF The Israel's army

Many teenagers today don't want to join the army. Some of these teenagers think that joining the army is a bad, unnecessary waste of their time. Some teenagers lie when they need to be tested for a position in the army. Furthermore, some teenagers who can really help the army with their superior abilites think that they can spend their time in other places that can better advance them in the future.

In addition, the program should offer interested students(ww.-not clear what you mean) 2 kinds of tools: 1. A place to ask questions about issues raised in the program. 2. Get(ww. - gain) experience by being sent to the army for (a) short time in order to show to those students what they might like in the army and what they might not like. This will get them motivated and give them a specific direction towards which(what?) to apply themselves.

To sum up, as a new series on the radio station, it should deal with the problems of students with the army(phr.). If the series succeeds, the government will be grateful and more people will join the army. I hope that you take my suggestions into consideration.

,Sincerely yours

Raz Bar

Good work.

(85)

Daphna

2 weeks ago my class went on a trip to the "Gadna". I really liked the time we spent there. I also learned a lot of things about myself; such as appreciating my mother's food, or showering alone with out any disturbs(ww.). But after all, I really liked this trip, if I had the opportunity to go there again, I would do that.

In the "Gadna", we had to do everything that our commanders ordered us. It was kind of strange because, in my home, I don't really listen to what my parents say. We also had to clean the toilet, the kitchen, and our tent, which I have never done before; my mom always does that. The commanders divided us (in)to 9 teams of 12 students. So, in order to finish our missions fast, we had to work together.

Moreover, we went into the field. The field had very dry sand(How is this fact related to anything?). The weather there was very strange; it was very hot between the hours (of) 10 AM to 6 PM and for the rest of the day it was too cold and we had to wear all of the clothes we got. We also had to stand up with the times(phr.), for example, if the commander gave us 10 minutes for resting(phr.), we abused(ww.) it as much as we can(gr.) and then we had to find the other team mate in order to have more resting time and not be punished(nor clear), so we also learned to help each other.

To sum up, I have(מיותר) really enjoyed (it) there. I liked the point(ww.) that the commanders were trying to give(ww.) us, which is the team work and I liked the whole point(ww.) of being in the gadna, which is like the army itself. But I didn't like the weather there, it was to unexpected and made everyone sick.I think that it was the best trip we have ever had and i really recommend to the people who doubt about going(phr.) there or not, to go there, you will enjoy it for sure.

Not bad at all. Where is your 11th writing assignment????

(78)

Daphna

Bareket 24
Holon
24/2/2010


Travel Agency online
Hopien ST. 36(wo. - 35 Hopien st.)

U.S.A

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter because I bought tickets for a trip in Turkey. But than ,when I arrived to the hotel , I realized that it was a mistake to go on this trip. I didn't enjoy the hotel, or the trip. I am writing this letter because I wish to complain about the wrogn details and I also want a refund.

The site that sold the tickets stated that therewould be 3 meals a day in the hotel. The site alsostated that there would be 5 beds in the room, the room would be clean and there would be an air-conditioner. The site gave information about the tour as well. It said that we would go to the famous waterfall-niagara fall, and then we would climb mountains and see a beautiful view from there.

When I got to the hotel, I found out that there were only 2 meals a day, and the meals were disgusting. When I saw the room that the website promised us, I got(ww. - was) shocked because of the dirty walls(and floor) in the room, the floor was very dirty too(מיותר). I had though about a room that would worth the money(phr.) after I read the details about this room. We didn't go to the "Niagara" falls, either, because the guide was sick.

To sum up, I want to ask you for a refund. The website did not give us the right information about the room. It was very dirty and we had to clean it by ourselves. Moreover, we didn't go to the "Niagara" falls as promised because of the instructor(ww.).

I look forward to your answer.

Sincerely yours,

Shlomi Califa.

Much better. Good work.

(85)

Daphna

Cyber Crime

Bareket 24
Holon
24/2/2010

Mr. Castro

Manager

Angles On line

45 Hofyeen street.

Holon

Dear Mr. Castro,

I am writing this letter because I want to join the Angles Online organization. I want to join this organization because personally, it is very important for me to help victims of cyber crimes. Recently, I was(gr. - have been) a victim of cyber crime. I really needed this help and than I found a cyber angel. This cyber angel helped me a lot. After (a) few weeks the stalker disappeared. Since than(sp. then), I realized that the helping a victim of cyber crime is needed and I really want to help other victims of cyber crime.

I think that I am ready to become a cyber angel because I am almost always on the computer. I think that if I become a cyber angel I will try to find victims of cyber crime and help them. I will do everything I can in order to help them. Moreover, I, personally, have the experience of being a cyber victim and I know how the victims suffer of cyber crimes.

I also think that I am suitable to become a cyber angel because I also have experience helping poor animals that lost their family or part of their body and they need help in order to survive. I volunteered(at) the "Best Friend" organization and saved up to 50 poor animals that had to be a part of a family in order to survive.

To sum up, I want to become a cyber angel because I identify with(ww.- understand) cyber crime victims and I want to help them get rid of their stalkers. I think I am suitable for this position because I have some experience. Moreover, I understand the reasonability of helping cyber crimes victims and I want to help them to live (a) normal life with out stalkers.

I look foward to your answer.

Sincerely yours,

Shlomi Califa.

Much better. Well done.

(90)

Daphna.

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